Thursday, February 21, 2013
things men should never say
Grahm is usually very wise with his words around his testy little troll (aka me). But every once in a while, his man brain kicks in, and his common sense abandons ship faster than you can say "boobs." It's all men, really though. They let their lips flap in the breeze all willy nilly, unknowingly hurting our small fries. (Obviously I could write a whole post about women who probably get into even more trouble with their tongues... wait, that didn't come out right.)
Here are three things men should never ever say. Keep that zipper zipped.
1. "Are you on your period?"
- Answer? Probably. But until you grow a uterus that decides to go all Hiroshima on the rest of your body once a month, you don't get to comment on my moody, unpredictable, eat-everything-in-sight behavior. No, it's not an excuse to act like a garfunkled cave woman addicted to a heating pad, but it is very much a reality... so let's just not bring it up. Capiche?
2. "Are you going to shower?"
- This is my personal favorite, because it's a triple whammy. Essentially what he's really saying is: "You smell," "You're looking like a hot mess, sans hot," and "You're lazy" all in one big, seemingly inoffensive question. Maybe I'm the only girl on the planet, but I do NOT shower every day. Rome wasn't built in a day, folks. (What?) Unless my pits morph into rotting cabbage patches, let me wear my hair in a bad hair day bun for as many days in a row as I want.
3. "You look tired."
- Translation: "You're not wearing nearly enough makeup." Just no. There may be dark circles under my eyes the size of Detroit, but you best ignore them. I mean what's the best case scenario here for ya? Are you trying to make me drown my self-esteem issues in yet another gallon of cookie dough ice cream?
There ya have it, gents. I hope you learned something.
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