Joining the zillions of others for...
1. Martin Luther King Day, 13 years ago, I got stuck in a baby swing. It involved jelly and the paramedics. Yes, this is real life. (You can read more about it here.)
2. If you give me a foot massage, I will give you my first born . . . or a hug.
3. I laugh and fart in my sleep. I also do these outside of REM. (I'm an over achiever like that.)
4. I'm terrified of bugs and the dark. (Yes, I'm 3 years old.) Bugs in the night? I might as well be on Fear Factor. Absolutely terrifying.
5. I'm obsessed with growing my hair out, which is a problem since it's as brittle as your grandmother's toenail. Since we've been married, I've only trimmed my hair and it's grown maybe three inches. (A year and a half people!) I spend an ungodly amount of money on conditioners and dry masks because one of them is bound to work, right?
6. I'm not a dog person. Crime, I know. Animals are fine and cute and whatever, but are they worth it? I mean, maybe some cute bundle of love will change my mind . . . one day. But until then, I refuse to allow a holy terror to poop in my house, jump on my guests, and demand all of my attention (Grahm does that enough!). Needy lil devils. And holy guacamole, they're expensive.
7. I've only kissed three boys. One of them is my husband. Am I boring grandma prude or what? (You're welcome, mom.) Maybe I should have been flapping my lips in the breeze willy nilly when I had the chance! Now these bad mammajammas are on lock down.