Look out, real world

It's day three of wearing the same comfy jammies. Day three of skipping showers. Eh, who needs 'em? Day (let's no go there) of calling a rat's nest a hairdo. Attractive doesn't even begin to cover it. (Seriously, I think I could submit this top bun at the science fair.) I'm avoiding mirrors, make-up, and deodorant (you're welcome, Grahm)... and anything else that makes me feel a little more humane than this lazy woman I've become the past few days.

Technically, I'm sick. It feels like someone stuffed two giant grapes up my nose and is beating the middle of my not-so-recently-plucked eyebrows with a tiny hammer. Just call me the Smelly Green Grump-tastic Giant.

But even if I was feeling hunky-dorey, I'd still be acting like the helpless blob-wonder who is sleeping till noon, You-tubing baby videos, reading too many political articles, and is eating cereal out of the box because I'm too lazy to go buy milk. (Or am I too considerate? If you think about it, I'm actually doing the world a favor by burying my stink-nasty bod in my bed.)

 (This should be in a Great Grains commercial. I'm not technically making out with the box... but I may or may not be wearing pants.) 

Before you get all judgmental and tell me I'm a giant pile of public waste (half-true), let me just tell you that Monday... I enter the real world with my first legit post-college job! In just three days, I'll be strapping on my big-girl panties, wearing heels every day, waking up early, and doing actual work from 8-5. I'll be working for Pearson as a copy editor --- and huzzah! it's something I actually studied in school.

So yes, I smell. My apartment is a giant mess. My ginormous laundry pile is resembling Mt. Rushmore (it grew a face, and it's seriously judging me). I've skipped my marathon training... and movement altogether. And did I mention I smell?

But Monday, that all changes. The real world won't even know how to handle all of this... As excited as I am for my new job, who knows when I'll have the amazing chance to be this lazy ever again? So excuse me, I've got... well, I've got nothing to do. :)