Technically, I'm sick. It feels like someone stuffed two giant grapes up my nose and is beating the middle of my not-so-recently-plucked eyebrows with a tiny hammer. Just call me the Smelly Green Grump-tastic Giant.
But even if I was feeling hunky-dorey, I'd still be acting like the helpless blob-wonder who is sleeping till noon, You-tubing baby videos, reading too many political articles, and is eating cereal out of the box because I'm too lazy to go buy milk. (Or am I too considerate? If you think about it, I'm actually doing the world a favor by burying my stink-nasty bod in my bed.)
(This should be in a Great Grains commercial. I'm not technically making out with the box... but I may or may not be wearing pants.)
Before you get all judgmental and tell me I'm a giant pile of public waste (half-true), let me just tell you that Monday... I enter the real world with my first legit post-college job! In just three days, I'll be strapping on my big-girl panties, wearing heels every day, waking up early, and doing actual work from 8-5. I'll be working for Pearson as a copy editor --- and huzzah! it's something I actually studied in school.
So yes, I smell. My apartment is a giant mess. My ginormous laundry pile is resembling Mt. Rushmore (it grew a face, and it's seriously judging me). I've skipped my marathon training... and movement altogether. And did I mention I smell?
But Monday, that all changes. The real world won't even know how to handle all of this... As excited as I am for my new job, who knows when I'll have the amazing chance to be this lazy ever again? So excuse me, I've got... well, I've got nothing to do. :)